The Green Sheet Online Edition
August 22, 2011 • Issue 11:08:02
The art of venting
||Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.|
- Lyman Abbott
One of the greatest personal strengths you have, as an ISO or merchant level salesperson is the ability to establish and maintain rapport with people from all walks of life. Paying attention to others comes easily to you; so does knowing what questions to ask to draw people out.
But what happens if you're having a bad day? A really bad day: your front tire blew out on the way to the office, you lost your biggest merchant account to a cut-rate competitor, your best friend had a heart attack, your investment portfolio lost half its value, you just found out your processor experienced a major data breach - and then an intern you took under your wing as a favor to your cousin stumbled while passing you in the hallway and spilled a café latte all over your new suit.
You want to growl. You want to stomp. You want to yell. You want to throw your laptop against the wall. You, who are usually driven to succeed but very easy going, do not recognize yourself. And you have an appointment with a new prospect this afternoon.
What do you do?
First, realize that, even if you don't usually get upset because you've been blessed with superior coping mechanisms, it is OK to vent your frustrations. Sometimes just acknowledging that emotional release is necessary and healthy lets you to take a deep breath and gain a bit of distance from a negative situation.
Next, here are some possible ways to vent without causing you or anyone else harm:
- Go for a walk, a long walk, if possible. Sometimes this alone is enough to clear your head and lift your mood.
- If you belong to a gym, get your gym bag and a change of clothes, and go there. Do a long enough workout so that you forget your troubles for a while. Then savor getting cleaned up and putting on fresh clothes.
- Find a quiet spot, a place where any noise you make won't disturb anyone. Shout and pound and say all sorts of things you know you'd regret if you actually said them to someone.
- Visit a friend or colleague whom you trust and tell the person what's going on and how much it bothers you. Be sure to offer to reciprocate when your friend needs someone to lean on.
- Locate a suitable place for writing, perhaps a corner table in your favorite caf‚, and write for 10 to 15 minutes without stopping. Pour out everything that comes to mind. Then tear up your rant and discard it in a place where nobody can retrieve it. If you do this on your computer instead of paper, just delete the file when you're through.
Once you feel like yourself again, and you've had a productive meeting with your prospect, think about what you can do to ameliorate negative factors in your life, and take remedial steps. Life is full of ups and downs; accepting the downs, even when they're messy, is part of the deal.
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