Competitor to Pleaser: Understanding Negotiating Personalities

W hen preparing for a negotiation - whether we're selling our products or services to a client or asking our boss for a raise - we often work and rework the numbers and think endlessly about tactics and strategies. Of critical importance, but often overlooked, is the negotiating style of the individual with whom we'll be negotiating.

In today's business world, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking we're negotiating with the ABC company when the reality is we are negotiating with people. No matter how large and diverse the organization, it always comes down to this: Some person is going to make a decision.

The good news is, every individual has a prominent negotiating style. Being able to determine theirs and knowing up front what to expect can produce dramatic results. Most businesspeople will fall into one of four categories: competitor, collaborator, compromiser or pleaser. As we cover each, try to identify your own style and the styles of those you negotiate with.

Competitors do well when faced with unpopular courses of action, such as enforcing restrictive rules, bringing price increases to a customer base, or negotiating with another highly competitive individual.

The competing style does, however, have its downside. Off-the-chart competitors are rigid and unyielding. They are often not finely tuned in to a client's needs and risk alienating the client.

A classic example of the competitive style would be pre-lithium Ted Turner. According to a recent book, his first marriage ended one Sunday late in 1961 in a sailboat race on Atlanta's Lake Allatoona.

His wife, Judy, was leading the fleet on points when she found herself between Ted and the finish line. Turner worked his way to the leeward of his wife and brought his boat up into the wind, actually hitting her and knocking her out of the race. It was all very legal but very dirty. By the end of the race, the marriage was over.

That's the competitive style at its most detrimental. But that same competitiveness - only harnessed and focused - is what has made Ted Turner an incredible force in America's Cup history, an international leader in the broadcast industry and Time Magazine's "Man of the Year."

Competitor - Stiff, unyielding, uncompromising.

Collaborator - Willing to bend, but sticking up for yourself at the same time.

Compromiser - Bending fairly easily. Quick to find common ground.

Pleaser - As a negotiator, you're on shaky ground here. You'll be regarded as a good person, but you have a tendency to give away too much.

Collaborators merge insights from different perspectives on a problem and gain commitment by incorporating those perspectives into a consensual decision. The drawbacks? Everything consensual deserves to be collaborated on.

Collaboration takes time, energy, effort and, often, money. People who can't shift out of this mode are the ones responsible for issues getting "hung up in committee" for weeks when decisions should take a few days. These people can drive you crazy.

Jimmy Carter comes to mind as an example of a collaborator. As a chief executive, this quality hurt him because he was slow to take action. On the other hand, Carter may be the best ex-President we've ever had because of these same qualities. His collaborative abilities make him the perfect peacekeeper he has become to the world.

Are you good at achieving temporary settlements to complex issues or arriving at workable solutions under time pressure? You may be a compromiser.

Many middle managers in Corporate America are compromisers. This is also a great style to fall back on when the competitive style won't work. On the down side, compromisers can concentrate so heavily on the practicalities and tactics of compromise that they sometimes lose sight of larger issues, such as principles, values, and long-term objectives.

President Bill Clinton is a compromiser. He is viewed by many as a master at finding common ground and by others as inconsistent, shifting with the tides and determining courses of action by the latest poll.

Possibly the most common style found in professional sales forces today is the pleaser, whose main attribute is the ability to build relationships. It's the pleaser's greatest strength and greatest weakness.

This style lends itself to situations in which a person will do whatever it takes to satisfy customer needs or extend goodwill. The pleaser is especially adept at preserving harmony and avoiding disruption in business situations. The drawback, however, is that pleasers can allow themselves to be abused. It's hard for classic pleasers to exert themselves in head-to-head negotiating situations, and, as a result, they often are guilty of leaving company profits "on the table."

Every sales force has a number of Joe Pleasers. Joe has been with the company for several years and has a solid client base.

His customers love him because he's great at solving problems and cultivating relationships. His repeat business is good, but when his accounts are analyzed, the profit margin is below where it should be.

In closing situations, Joe gives up more than he needs to. The problem is compounded by the fact that he often is doing business with decision-makers who fall into the competitor category. Joe understands the Golden Rule of Sales Negotiation: Sales ability determines your gross receipts, but negotiating ability determines your profit.

Your style is largely a matter of your stiffness index - how quickly you acquiesce, or bend - in a negotiating situation.

Your ability to be flexible with the situation and react accordingly determines your effectiveness as a negotiator.

There are times throughout the day when each style might be appropriate. As you prepare for negotiating and evaluate your counterpart's style, or even when you have begun the process, ask, "Which style will serve me best in this situation?"

This question shapes your thinking over time. You'll find yourself shifting gears - adapting to situations and individuals - to achieve your goals. That flexibility is the mark of a truly good negotiator.